I know how much it hurts, and it makes you feel unwanted. It's a foolish dream I suppose.
You don't have to believe them yourself, but you need that respect in thought as well as action, and you need to frame this as your own journey because you can only change yourself. I am his wife and we have 4 children. Its the days when I don't get a text that I worry I feel terrible now for ever doubting him.